Sumer Is Icumen In — Dirty Bristow Issue One Launch Party

You know how we said that Dirty Bristow would have no ads, and no rules? The way we can do that is that each issue comes with it’s own special events to launch and offset the costs. The first, the biggest, and the only way to get your hands on Issue One on day one is to come to our Summer Fête.

The Small Hamlet Of Dirty Bristow In Borsetshire Invites You To Its Summer Fête

The mayor and vicar of the small fictional hamlet of Dirty Bristow have collected a huge variety of traditional musics, comedy, stalls and games — and have arranged for them to happen:

  • on Saturday 28th August
  • at The Edge in Digbeth
  • for the tiny tiny fee of £5 — which includes a copy of Dirty Bristow issue one (magazine usually £3.50)

the grand opening is at 6pm and the fun is expected to last all night.

So far confirmed is live music from 8-Bit Ninjas and Glatze and comedy from Tom Lennon and Harry Vale. There’ll be Punch & Judy,Splat The Rat, a Tug O’ War — artists versus writers , a Teddy Bear Bungee, Guess The Weight Of The Cake all the stuff you would expect at a traditional British summer fête.

And there’ll be a beer tent.

Tickets are available now — go buy yours, or find more details.

Watch this space for more announcements including how to enter the Vegetable Competition.


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The T-Shirt ecconomy

Dirty Bristow

You know the score, we eke out a magazine’s print costs by commission on printed to order T-shirts with our witticisms on. Six designs to start with… go buy.

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Brothers — A collaborative illustration

Luke Brown’s short story in issue one of the Bristow is about relationships, about why we spend time with the people we do, and sex and bars. So to illustrate it (along with the production of a special gin cocktail, more of which later) I thought we should do something together. Because you’re my best mates, you are.

Here’s a visualisation of the 300 most used words in the story:
dirty bristow | No ads. No rules.

and I want you to pick words and take photos of things that represent them, while you’re out in bars, pubs and clubs this weekend.

  • Phone snaps are best, don’t worry about the quality.
  • Deliver them to me via Twitpic (or similar) — use the hastag #bristow or @ me (@bounder) so I can find them.
  • Include the word you’re taking a pic of in the tweet
  • Add location too, if you’re sober enough to remember.
  • You’ve got until chucking out time on Sunday 18th July.
  • Do as many as you like, or can…

I’m going to use all the photos in some way to illustrate, so you’ll get a credit, but are giving us permission to use it once (online and in print). Just so you know.

In the words of the late Ron Pickering — away you go.

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How Dirty Bristow is made

The story of your favourite magazine, first published in the Scorcher annual 1975.

You can click to see the pics bigger or see the whole thing here.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Putting it all on orange

For the last week or so we’ve been offering you something unique (and certainly not against Twitter’s terms and conditions, oh no) which is to pay to hear more of @bounder. Here’s some things that @bounderpremium subscribers have said:

“@joyfeed: @bounderpremium You are a gentleman.”

“@tomlennon1: The entire human genome sequence in less than 140 characters? It can only be @bounderpremium”

“@HarryVale: @bounderpremium …can I have a refund? I know a tramp who’ll do wicked, wicked things for £1.”

So far we’ve made about eight quid, after paypal fees. And we’re going to potentially double that by betting it all on the Dutch to win the World Cup.

Why the orange?

Holland as a nation stands for most things that we hold dear; premium European lager and liberal publishing laws. Holland as a football team plays to our romantic sensibilities (or at least it did for four years in the seventies): the joy of switching position, love beads, and beautiful failure.

But the best football player ever to exist, Mr Johan Cruyff did something special — he battled against the corporate dragon on behalf of his art. The Holland team, he said, should not be held in thrall to adidas. And so Johan’s shirt for the 1974 World Cup had two stripes down the shoulders rather than three.

Principled y’see*.

Hup Holland Hup. Sod the octopus.

*And not at all due to his deal with nike.

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